I had another dream the other day about Tony.
I ran across a photo of him on instagram. He had updated it with a selfie showing a new gun he had bought. (When he turned 21 later this year, he was going to get his license to carry and a gun to carry) I saw it and thought it was a really neat thing for him!
But then I remembered - he's dead. We buried him! I texted him to call us right away! My feeling was panic and excitement - he wasn't dead!! He wasn't dead!!
I mean, what happened? We buried him but it wasn't his body then! Right?
I remember later in the dream showing Steve and we saw injuries on his mouth and head that looked like they were healing. I felt upset that he hadn't texted me back and I couldn't get a hold of him!! But he had to he alive - and ok!! Why hadn't he reached out to us in these past weeks and months? Why hadn't his friends told us? I was so excited that he was alive and that I would he able to hug him again!
And then... I woke up.
And then... had to face That he was still gone.
That it was just a dream.
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